On Friday last week, I found out that chances are in the next few week's I'll be made redundant. My initial reaction was to go home, have a bit of a cry and a sleep. These are my usual first reactions for dealing with things I'm not happy about... my husband can never get his head round my ability to fall asleep as my way of dealing with bad news!
Saturday and Sunday came and my thoughts and feelings on this shifted... I began to see the potential benefits to this! The fact that I am currently in a very stressful job, one that often requires me to take work home and that has me rushing around trying to get 100 things done at once. As you may know from my previous blogs, I have had three miscarriages and would really, really like a baby. (This at the moment is one of my main hopes and dreams, my work situation is way down the list of priorities)! As I pondered on my circumstances, I realised redundancy could definitely be a blessing in disguise. It could be the push I need to look for a job I enjoy and to look for something that won't create extra stress when we start trying to conceive again.
It got me thinking how I so often need to change my focus.
As someone who believes that God has got a plan for my life, I am sure that at some point everything I've learnt and experienced through difficult times - my attempts in trying to conceive, the pain of miscarriage, the difficulties of losing my job - will help someone else. It's a horrible feeling, feeling that you are the only one who is going through a painful or difficult situation so I'm hoping that someone reading this will be able to read this and think 'me too' and not feel alone in their situation!
I'm also going to try to 'change my focus' and embrace the positive. Not always easy! But when I find myself dwelling on my past losses, I'm going to try (and I'm sure at times fail) to change my thinking and to focus on future hopes and dreams and the good things I've got in my life now!
My husband told me the other day, I need to be more like Chumbawamba :-). I don't know if you remember them from the 90s but a line of their most well known song was 'I get knocked down but I get up again, you're never going to keep me down' and so I'm going to take my husband's advice and when I get knocked down by circumstances I'm going to work at quickly getting back up again! :-)