I thought I'd just do a quick post as I'm nervously sat at home thinking about the six week scan I am having tomorrow!
I am trying to keep calm and keep my mind off all the potential problems! This isn't easy as my mind keeps taking me back to them.. I've only ever had scans when there have been problems - either to confirm a miscarriage and check that all was now ok with my body or when I had a six week scan last year that showed a missed miscarriage. My sister has also suffered from two ectopic pregnancies so I have that added fear in my list of what could go wrong! :-(
My over active mind has taken to considering what I would do if they delivered bad news... would I opt for waiting for the miscarriage to happen naturally or opt for the operation or to take the termination tablet. If I had an ectopic I'd need an operation and that would terrify me! DH is trying to keep me on the straight and narrow is giving me lots of support. There is no reason why this scan should show anything is wrong but with three miscarriages under my belt my mind wants to tell me otherwise! I'm definitely having a battle with my mind!
I know I should be positive. Not least because to have a positive test and to be at six weeks without any bleeding is a first for me. But I want to be honest with people that I am struggling to stay positive. I should be excited about the scan but when I let myself I become full of anxiety.
People who follow me on twitter may have seen my comment yesterday about my obsession to check that my boobs are still hurting. Lol! The wish to be pregnant, stay pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby makes us do some fairly daft things. But I guess these daft things are what are keeping me sane at the moment!
I'm had a bit of nausea and have been sleeping lots so I'm taking those as good signs.
So please pray that all will go well tomorrow, that the scan will show a healthy pregnancy and that me and DH will have complete peace! Think of me in the morning when I'm sat in the waiting room with a full bladder hoping that all will be ok... I've got a bladder the size of a pea at the best of times so it is quite a feat for me to sit with a full bladder and be full of nerves too. So prayers very very much appreciated! xx