I seem to be writing a lot of blogs at the moment... probably because I use this as a way of getting my feelings out of my head by putting them on to paper...or typing them on to a screen ;-)
Not having the best of days today. Decided to do one of the very early pregnancy tests and it has come back with a Big Fat Negative :-( My hubby was annoyed at me for doing it as he feels it was too early but the temptation was too much and now I'm feeling completely glum and dwelling on the fact that, yet again, this month is likely to be another disappointment on our journey to having a baby.
So this morning I've kept crying, pulling myself together again and then crying again! My mind has a fantastic ability to make me feel worse. Today it's been pondering on the fact that many of my friends will be going out with their babies and young children celebrating Father's Day. As I said when it was Mother's Day, I love to be able to celebrate my own Mum and my Dad but these days in the calendar just draw attention to the fact that we've been unsuccessfully trying to have a baby for three years.
So now I need to get myself back in the mindset of having injections for the next week as there's no way the nurses will let me stop the injections until my period comes so I need to keep up the motivation knowing I'm more than likely not pregnant.
My issue, as I explained to my hubby this morning, is that I've only ever had an early negative that has continued to be negative with my period showing and so on the times when I got pregnant the early tests showed it. Is there anybody out there who has had a negative followed by a positive later on??
My prayers today will be for all of you who find Father's Day tough for whatever reason that may be!